We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
