absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
