Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
