...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
