have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
