Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
