I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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