4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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