sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
