don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
