I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
