I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
