So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
