was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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