rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
