is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
