I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Randomize
