90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
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