That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
