I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
