Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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