its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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