Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
