dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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