I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
