I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
