It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
