Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My cat gives me a boner
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
