I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
