They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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