No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
