her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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