I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
