have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
