u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
