You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
