you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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