For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I believe in your delicious
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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