he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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