i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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