I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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