everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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