I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
