Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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