did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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