adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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