So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
