Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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