it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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