You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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